Post by Rudy on Nov 12, 2004 9:32:29 GMT -5
A few people approached me at the club meeting last night and said that they enjoyed reading my off topic posts. This one is for you. 
Deep Thoughts............
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
What do you do when you see an endangered animal
eating an endangered plant?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid
someone will clean them?
Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If a pit bull humps your leg you’d better fake an orgasm.
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.
The easiest way to find something that’s lost is to
buy a replacement.
How come when you open a can of evaporated milk it’s still there?
Why is there only one Monopolies commission?
If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.
Guns don't kill people
- Husbands who come home early kill people.
Why do you press harder on a remote control when
you know the battery is dead?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be
twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing
you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob,
and I am an alcoholic?
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains
for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Deep Thoughts............
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
What do you do when you see an endangered animal
eating an endangered plant?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid
someone will clean them?
Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If a pit bull humps your leg you’d better fake an orgasm.
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.
The easiest way to find something that’s lost is to
buy a replacement.
How come when you open a can of evaporated milk it’s still there?
Why is there only one Monopolies commission?
If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.
Guns don't kill people
- Husbands who come home early kill people.
Why do you press harder on a remote control when
you know the battery is dead?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be
twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing
you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob,
and I am an alcoholic?
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains
for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
It was nice seeing you at the meeting last night. 
